Posts tagged patriarchal

“With heightened focus on the construction of woman as a ‘victim’ of gender equality deserving of reparations (whether through changes in discriminatory laws or affirmative action policies) the idea that women needed to first confront their internalized sexism as part of becoming feminist lost currency. Females of all ages acted as though concern for or rage at male domination or gender equality was all that was needed to make one a ‘feminist’. Without confronting internalized sexism women who picked up the feminist banner often betrayed the cause in their interactions with other women.” -bell hooks

If only being feminist was that easy.  She is talking about sexism being both an issue for women and men, and how women had and are using it as an outlet for their feelings of rage, that arise from being oppressed.  And how feminism is a gender issue that rejects patriarchy, and many women hadn’t and still aren’t doing the internal work on themselves, and so perpetuate many of the values of the patriarchal society that they are rebelling against. .. . I can’t really tell if that explanation made any sense. 

Personally for me, I am constantly struggling with my feelings of not being good enough to fit into our culture.  From not shaving, not wearing make-up, to enjoying wearing garish make-up, to wearing any fashion of clothes I wish be it jeans or a short skirt.  Being self-conscious about not wearing a bra, worrying about what customers, coworkers and my boss think of me being obviously ‘out’.  Even at home, not feeling free to get piercings because my mom doesn’t want to look at it every day.  All this ties into confronting internalized values of the way I should be.  I worry about the way my legs look so I wear tights; I worry about not shaving my armpits so I don’t wear all my awesome sleeveless shirts.  I don’t want to offend anybody.  If I was male bodied I wouldn’t have to worry about not shaving, but I wouldn’t be able to wear all my favorite clothes without being out casted. 

I don’t at all knock somebody else’s preferences of clothing style sexuality beliefs etc., yet you have to know where it’s coming from.  On some level I realize that my fashion sense is in direct response to my feelings toward our culture. I do not wish to represent the patriarchal standards that dictate I sexualize my body for objectification.  I do not wish to feel like I can’t expose my face to the world unpainted because for some reason it doesn’t look like what desirable women look like.  I refuse to let somebody else tell me what they think looks good.  I know what my preferences are, why can’t I have them? … Men and women are constantly being told the way they are supposed to look, from standing in line at the checkout counter looking at all the magazines, telling you that the airbrushed picture of the toned bodies is the way you want to look, not like the celebrities who have let themselves go, and actually have fat on their bodies or chose to shave their heads, or let their beards grow out. 

On the radio I’m constantly hearing ads for plastic surgery. The husbands going on and on about how great their wives look… Personally, when I get to have wrinkles, I’ll be thankful I’m not twenty anymore.  They will be proof that I have lived; I have worked, loved and suffered, grown and changed.  Why take that away from yourself?  I personally find it disturbing that you can’t tell the difference between a twenty year old woman and a fifty year old woman, except of course when they try to have any facial expressions and they can’t because they don’t really have a real face anymore.  Body mutilation is the most obvious sexism to point out, and it bothers me that many people think that breast enhancement and plastic surgery is somehow empowering.  What’s positive about feeling so crappy about yourself that you cut your body literally apart, and have foreign substances make up your self-image.  … I do not wish to be valued for the way my body looks and appeals to others, I wish to be valued for the love and wisdom I bring the world.  For my community friends and family.