Posts tagged media

I think the treatment of women in Congo is comparable to the treatment of women in the U.S. Fearing ones own body, and being paranoid about your image, is undeniably tied.  I have through a process of letting go and regaining body ownership, and constantly being aware (of the images) and the media/social expectations that I’m supposed to be prescribing too, I have for the most part successfully let go many body standards that have been pushed at me, and are.  I came to realize that I have another enemy inside me.  Despite being able to physically control how I look, and though I can change how I see myself, I cannot change how others perceive and look at me.  This isn’t where I wanted to take this exactly. 

When people look at me, (mainly when a man) there are primarily two things that go through my head.  How this person is seeing me in regards to my appearance (how I’m dressed, hair, makeup etc.) the other factor that I believe gets less notice, is how I instinctively react to their proximity, or what I do to protect myself, or how I either become more masculine or more feminine.  This isn’t really where I wanted to go either. …

What I’m saying is, there is body image and body fear, and both are intrinsically related.  Yesterday we watched The Line, and in it the the woman was talking about how great it was that her body was considered sacred.  Indeed every body’s body should be sacred, but not in physical terms of appearance directly affecting our honor.  Paranoia would not be present without all that body stigma.  Meaning all the thoughts about honor and self worth comes from your body, and the paranoia is a reality, and comes from the fact that you are being judged on sight. 

Everything can be rationalized… thoughts on when both parties are drunk or incapacitated… then consent is a much deeper discussion about ingrained behavior.  I don’t know about how drinking changes base character and thoughts. 

I would assume we would all agree that an enthusiastic yes is a good way to consent and to talk during sex and knowing exactly what’s going to happen is potentially very sexy and at least a good thing.  But in the mainstream world people have ways of behaving in a prescribed way that they think is appropriate.  And for sure people have ways of rationalizing their behavior, and either purposefully or because of cultural standards they misinterpret behaviors to suit their needs, which leads into talk about self awareness. 

krona:

I am slightly perturbed by statements such as “Just because I’m a feminist doesn’t mean I can’t {wear a miniskirt and make-up/shave all my body-hair off/love doing ‘girly’ things}”. Again, it presents itself as an incredibly liberal phrase at first, and I want to make clear very quickly that it is not the statement itself I take issue with but the thought (this is possibly where it gets confusing) behind it. Of course you can be a feminist and wear a miniskirt etc! Of course it’s about the choice, your choice!

But what choice do we have? Go back a hundred or two hundred years (or a lot less in most places) and the overwhelming honest response from womankind (at least in most western society) to stepping outside of their assigned cooking/cleaning/mothering roles would be a negative one. Even if they were to agree with the notion of a choice in the matter, they would choose to remain in those positions that we would judge as subservient and exploitative. It’s easy for us to look back, and down, on them.. but a lot harder to look at, and in, ourselves for the exact same opposition to change. We are in a different time, with different challenges. A number of extremely brave people have moved the battle (forward, some might say) - but to declare it over would be to undo their work.

In a privilege dynamic, it is always easy to conform to whatever standards are expected from you, whatever side of the lines you reside in, regardless of whether you mentally disagree. Simply playing your part reinforces those standards society-wide and in your own mind, increases the pressure on others to accept the status-quo, used as an excuse to force the same indoctrination on the next generation, and becomes a subsidy of the counter-attack against anyone who dares defy it. Resisting oppression is revolutionary. Conforming with oppression is not. Not even if you like it, especially not if you like it. On the one hand, none are free until all are, and on the other: do you really like it?

An example. You shave your body-hair off. Why? “Not for a man, I’m a feminist. I just don’t like it.” Yet where has this very common idea come from? It is a very recent idea too.. Consider the mountains and mountains of both blatant and subtle contemporary propaganda telling you practically every single day that body hair is obscene for a woman and desirable for a man. Now consider the possibility that the patriarchy has taken feminism, viciously tore a chunk out of it, and is now selling it back to us as a brand of sexism ‘now with added superiority to those pitiful women who serve men for men and not serve men for themselves! Because your own desires, as a woman, can’t be sexist.. can they?’

None of us are capable of making objective and completely individual decisions. Not me, not you. To declare yourself immune from the collective consciousness of the society which moulded you from birth is arrogance and insanity. We are brought up by an incredibly sexist/racist/etc society, and to not initially accept this upbringing in us and others robs us of our only chance of opposing it.

Fighting our conditioning is a constant and eternal process. Just because you identify yourself as ‘a feminist’ does not mean that you cannot act in ways which reinforce gender oppression. You will never be free except when you are consciously struggling; thinking that you are magically free of sexist influence is a trojan horse of defeat, albeit tempting - especially for those of us who have been struggling the hardest/longest/most painfully. 

These are pretty big and incomplete/flawed ideas so I would be incredibly appreciative of any feedback whatsoever, whomever you are, and I apologise in advance the the inevitable miscommunication.

-Eris :)

 ”To declare yourself immune from the collective consciousness of the society which moulded you from birth is arrogance and insanity.”

I love it <3 Perfectly said.  How is it empowering to hate you body so much that you even get it surgically altered?

I love Twilight.  Went and saw Eclipse yesterday, and I loved it just like I have the other two and all the books.  Throughout the whole movie I was hypersensitive because of all the criticism it’s received regarding Edward being like a d.v. partner, and Bella having to be protected and shit.  I agree that the movies and books support the basic template of the man being supreme and the woman being protected, yet there are many rad key points that stand out for me.  By no means do I think anything should be overlooked, or left unconfronted.  I think it’s extremely important to point at whats wrong and to hold it accountable for how it affects our mass culture, especially considering just how huge Twilight is. 

I suppose I just want to ask why people spend time talking about Twilight, but not any of the other huge movies that our children are raised with.  Like Cinderella and The Little Mermaid.  Or why people don’t talk about parents showing their tiny kids violent horror films.  Comparatively Twilight is minor compared to the movies that are considered ‘normal’.  With Twilight, you can even say you hate it and be part of a collective whole that agree with you, but if you dare say that Disney is sexist, watch the fuck out because at least from what I’ve experienced practically everybody you know will descend on you to defend what is ‘normal’. 

I only want to point out a few things that I really noticed about Twilight in regards to Edward being a controlling bastard.  Bella doesn’t have to fear what Edward will do, if she does what she wants.  Yes, he has every right to be jealous and dislike another trying to go after his significant other.  I would consider that normal.  As far as the author pushing her Mormon beliefs on people, like not having sex until after marriage… While I hardly think that it’s necessary or good or bad or anything like that… I think it’s significant to say that for two people who would die for each other because of their deep bond and love for one another, that they don’t even have to be having passionate sex, is definitely a different type of relationship that one doesn’t typically see anymore.  Sex is awesome important and everything good, but it isn’t the climax of a relationship. 

So thanks to the people who have put a lot of time and energy into confronting the bullshit, I beg you to do the same thing for all the other movies that people are watching everyday, including the ones that you love.  We definitely all have our guilty pleasures… or things that we’ve never considered damaging, but if you think Twilight is bad… look at everything else you’re watching and reading.  The things you’ve taken for granted since being a baby.  Criticise… and start with me.